Out of sight, but not out of mind

How ironic is it that my last post (many many months ago!) was talking about abandoned blogs, and that I hoped to continue writing on this blog throughout the academic year, but instead: I did abandon it. You might be thinking that because I haven’t been writing on this blog, I have not constantly been trying to improve. In fact, it is the opposite.

The reason I had chose not to write on the blog was so that I could focus on my studies and take full responsibility for my learning, and eliminate all distractions. All of this would help me to develop and improve as a person. Now that I’ve completed the second academic year of my degree, I can confidently say that I have definitely become more independent, more responsible and more proactive in all areas of my life and I have maintained these changes.

Revisiting some of the ideas from the last few blog posts:

• Pre reading – This is something that is fairly difficult to do if a topic is new to  you and if nothing has been recommended because you may not always be aware of the depth at which you need to be familiar with the topic. But, where the topic has been covered before or if it is a topic of interest to you, this is particularly useful in re-establishing a foundation or even, just developing your knowledge.
• Extra / post reading – The difference between “pre reading” and “extra reading” is that pre is something that you do before in order to familiarise yourself with the topic, extra is something you do outside of what you’re taught. Again, I’m somewhat of a sceptic, simply because it is difficult to gauge the depth and breadth at which your need to research, in order to gain extra marks in an exam.
• Opening my own savings account and owning my first debit card – This has been so useful in my life, and has allowed me to become a lot more responsible for my own money, thus teaching me budgeting. However, sometimes: I feel that when your money is in a bank and you are paying for it by card, it’s not sometimes fully acknowledged that you are spending your own money. I’ve also stopped carrying cash and this is a bad habit. This is an area that I definitely need to improve on, for example: perhaps using cash for day to day expenses (such as: lunch and snacks from the uni canteen), and using cards for bigger purchases (such as: restaurant lunches and shopping) and establishing a weekly spend limit.
• Summer / part time job – I am about to restart this job and it is so useful to have a job that I can go back to at any time.
• Revision plan – Okay, I’ll be the first to admit: I’m hopeless at following specific plans, and they take forever to create. But, I’ve taught myself a routine to structure my learning, for example: after the lecture, I will type up my notes, but if they are too long: I will just go over and highlight it. I will then read through the notes and highlight it over the weekend. I will also then add to the notes by doing some further research, also over the weekend. I will then create revision tools (such as: flashcards, diagrams, tables, videos, recordings) over the holidays. I will also continuously work on projects that are due in at the end of the year. After a whole year of this, I am happy to say that I stuck to it and it worked.
• Gaining more control over eating and exercising habit – This is another one that I can’t seem to consistently work on. For a period of the year, I was very in control of my diet, where I’d have a salad (with meat) for lunch. But, I found that this was not very filling or perhaps, as tasty as my normal lunch, so I bought chips every lunch time. Not only was this expensive, it was also counterintuitive. With regards to exercise, I just didn’t have enough time, because I had university pretty much from 9 – 5, I commute on a daily basis and I had revision to do outside of uni. This is something that I will strive to pay more attention to in the future.
• Finances spreadsheet – This was so helpful at first, because I didn’t really spend a lot, but when you spend, transfer money and receive money on a daily basis, it becomes very tiresome to document. Instead: I recommend going through your monthly statement, and have a look at where all the money is going and then, pick areas where you can improve on (for example: walk an extra 5 minutes to buy my daily crisps and save 20p per day, thus saving £22 in one academic year or avoiding impulsive and expensive make up or clothing purchases based on the latest fashion). Every time you buy something, I’d recommend using the following questions: “Do I need it?” “Do I need it now?” “Can I get it for a cheaper price?” “Is it worth the money”
• Driving – While I am still somewhat clumsy and hopeless at multitasking, I have significantly improved in my ability to focus and automate habits (such as: checking in the rear view mirror every so often and gear changes) and be in control of the car in expected situations (such as: a sudden light change, the car in front suddenly slowing down, an overtaking car, a car that changes lane etc). But, what I feel that I need to improve upon now is focusing on the road. It’s funny how driving comes so naturally to me that I forget to focus on the road ahead and therefore, have delayed reactions to new situations (such as: a speeding car coming around a corner or a congested road, where there is only space for one car to drive down it).

So, the message of this blog post is to always keep your goals in mind, even if you’re not actively writing or talking or even thinking about it.

I’m starting to feel as though I’m running out of inspiring advice or interesting topics, so please drop me an email or a comment to let me know what you want me to write about.

Second Chances…

Most blogs are born out of procrastination during revision and abandoned once life has returned to normal and I am hoping mine won’t be. To be completely honest, it was born out of procrastination during revision, but also inspiration. See, I’ve caught your attention now… “How can revision be inspiring?!”

I’ve recently started year 2 of my degree and after failing a module, having to resit and then passing, it does feel like I’ve been given a second chance. Granted, I have worked very hard for the second chance.This blog was created during the resit exam period and it was my constant self reflection, and my wanting to pass, my wanting to not be in this position next year, my wanting to be the best I could be, that brought this blog to life.

This self reflection branched out to other areas of my life, and what really intrigued me is the subtle difference between self criticism and self reflection. I’m very adept in the skill of self criticism, sometimes I don’t even realise I’m doing it, but really, what’s the point of it if you’re not going to look at your strengths and not going to improve your weaknesses. It is at this point self criticism becomes self reflection.

I realise I’m rambling, but anyway: back to the topic of second chances. I see this second year as a chance to redo the first year, to put into motion the plans I had stored in the back of my mind last year (such as: this bizzare concept called pre reading) and to make sure I don’t need a third chance. This is both in the academic and the social / personal sense.

We all take chances for granted sometimes and to be truthful, chances are not always bad, but don’t put off improving yourself, just because there is a guaranteed second chance.

Sometimes you need a second chance, because you weren’t ready for the first

Make yourself ready for the first. Don’t put things off.

Straying from the topic again, but hey ho: don’t settle for mediocrity, just because it is comfortable and because it has always been that way and it works. I believe last year I just wasn’t open to adapting to a new stage (university) in my life and simply continued the way I was. Yes, there was small changes, due to the massive change of more freedom: more lunches and dinners with friends, more shopping and more spending. But, in reality: I was still very heavily dependent (financially too!) on my parents, I wasn’t as sociable as I’d like to be (I just thought “I guess I’ll just get to know everyone throughout the years”), and I LOVED my degree subject, but I wasn’t committed (I just thought “There’s no reason to be full on committed right now, first year does not count and I still have four years till I graduate”). A recurring theme throughout all of these truths is passing responsibility to someone else or to another time and this often leads to lack of control. Don’t avoid responsibility, take it and own it because it gives you the chance to be who YOU want to be. It is scary as hell, but it is empowering as hell.

So, you’re wondering “Are you all talk and no walk”, have a read through what I’ve achieved so far.

• I’ve opened my own savings account, with a debit card
• I’ve got a summer / part time job, that I love
• I was able to obtain some work experience into the field of my degree, in a few sectors. It really opened my eyes to how my degree is put into practice, and it taught me a lot.
• I’ve established a full revision plan, where I will re-read my lecture notes, and do pre reading and do work as I get it, as opposed to leaving it to a few days before the deadline. I’ve been down that road and it is far too stressful for me.
• I am trying to gain more control over my eating and exercising (I do have a tendency, like most people to say “I’ll start tomorrow”)
• I have created an Excel spreadsheet with all of my finances, so that I am able to see where my money is going. Yes, I know, it is extremely OCD, but do I care? No. Why? Because I will know that its my snack habit that is burning a hole in my bank account and cut down and save up to £10 a week, which is up to £520 a year. So who’s winning? Me. That little rant was courtesy of someone who chose to comment negatively when I had informed them about this plan to take control of my spending habits.

Here’s to second chances, the inspiration for this blog.

Hello World

See, I was debating whether or not to change the default title for a first post, but it seemed apt for the theme of my blog: “on the journey of self improvement”.

I’m just a normal (that can be argued!) 19 year old, who has been hit by the reality that she needs to grow up and start being responsible for herself. This has been further exacerbated by the fact I’m your typical brown girl, who has been somewhat sheltered and whose parents have taken care of everything up to this point. This is not to suggest that they have suddenly surrendered all of my responsibilities, in fact: the opposite!

Throughout my teenage years (gosh, it does seem shocking that this is my last year of being a teenager!), I’ve learnt that the world is not as great as it seems when you’re young and naive and want to be able to do what you want, when you want. For example: “If I could drive, I could go to so-and-so’s house even if Mum said no!”, but then you soon realise that learning to drive is a nearly impossible task if you’re as clumsy and as unable to multitask whilst being completely aware of your surroundings, as me!

Let’s all admit that when we were 13, we all just wanted to hurry up and grow up… but then, you turn 19, and you wish you were young again. Instead of falling victim to the whole “the grass is greener on the other side” cycle we all get into, I have decided to take on the challenge of growing up.

A lot of people in my life are questioning what inspired this change, since 19 is such a random number – it’s not 18 (the official legal age of becoming an adult) and it’s not 20 (the beginning of your twenties). As mentioned before, I’ve experienced a lot and recently, it’s caused me to shed my naivety and personal characteristics (such as: being a dedicated people pleaser) and I’ve almost become a different person. However, I feel it does make me that much more invincible, whilst still retaining the most important attributes which makes up my identity (such as: constantly wanting to make the world a better place) and ready to face the world.

A lot of people just live their lives as a routine: get up, go to work, come home, sleep and repeat. However, I understand that many people are stuck in this routine and can’t commit to drastic life changes, such as: move to a different country and take up a full time voluntary job, due to other important commitments, such as: family and needing to provide for the family. As a woman especially, I feel like we are constantly asked to choose between our dreams / career and having a family. My mother, along with my aunts, chose having a family and they put aside their dreams. No, put aside is the wrong word, because it implies that they are able to return to it… but having spoken to my mother about this very subject, the impression I got from her was that she felt having a family was a lifelong commitment and she had to forget her dreams.

This is what inspired me to take control of my life, because already, at the age of 19, I want a different path in life. I want to be able to fully commit to my (potential) career and be able to pursue my dreams, along with creating my own family and bringing up my children and helping them to develop.

“We are the change we seek” – Barack Obama

While I feel tempted to be lazy and just take life as it comes, for example: leave the worrying about my career and family till I’ve actually completed my degree (I have only just completed the first of four years) and gotten married, this quote tells me that change won’t come by itself. I feel that by this point, I will be very resistant to change, due to simply being comfortable to live life. I need to make that change now and I need to grow up.

So, Hello World! (oh, what cheesiness, let’s just go with it!)